Is It Possible To Compare Love Vs Infatuation? Beyond the Butterflies
Love and infatuation go hand in hand with us through life. Distinguishing infatuation vs love is difficult not only for a teenager but also for an adult. Confounding them, people make fatal mistakes — they get married and have children, but often quickly become disappointed and do not understand how they could be wrong in a partner. In fact, love is different from falling in love, and it is important to learn the difference between love and infatuation.
Signs of infatuation
What is infatuation? Difference between infatuation and love is like real gold from gilding. If you look superficially, there are a lot of similarities, but when you start to understand the details, to dig into the truth, the truth quickly comes out.
The following are the infatuation signs. After reading them, you will no longer have the question, “Is it infatuation or love?”
- Orientation on oneself, and not on the object of feelings and attention. A person in love cares little about the feelings of his partner, he is overwhelmed by the passion and wants to achieve what he wants by any means.
- Love is fleeting. Depending on the reaction of the object of emotion, falling in love lasts from several hours to several months, then quickly passes.
- Instability. A girl or a boy quickly changes their attitude toward a partner: they can strongly “love,” love, and hate the object of attention.
- Disappointment. If the partner does not behave as planned by the other participant, disappointment sets in. Feelings pass without heartache or sorrow for destroyed hopes.
- The basis of the relationship is sex and passion. Without the satisfaction of physical needs, a couple does not connect for a long time.
- The impossibility of long-distance relationships. If the partner is forced to leave for a month or a year, the second half, who does not feel true love, switches to other guys or girls. Love will definitely not pass the distance test.
- A person does not notice the shortcomings of a partner and sees only the advantages. If the couple is in love, the wife or husband understands that the partner has shortcomings and puts up with them. People in love do not notice the cons of their other half at first, then they annoy them and force them to part with the object of attention.
So, how do you quickly figure out if is it love or infatuation? Analyze how your relationship is developing, and what is more important in them — communication, understanding, or sex. Then quickly decide what exactly you feel: love or infatuation.
When does infatuation become love? If we consider love as a biochemical process, then strong feelings are indeed accompanied by a hormonal riot. But also passionate love. Hormones rise from kisses, the closeness of a loved one, anxiety and the desire to please.
Today, even between a man and a mail order bride, strong love can arise. They date online and only then, after some time, meet offline. By the way, are mail order spouses real and legal? Of course. And every day they become more and more popular.
Signs of love
What is the difference between love and infatuation? Love is a strong feeling for another person, which is accompanied by physical and emotional affection. Experiencing such emotions, a person strives to be close to his beloved, to make him and himself happy, while the interests of the partner become higher. Love pushes a person to do rash actions, to strive for the best, and to radically change his life.
Understanding a difference between love and infatuation will help with the basic signs of true feelings. Psychologists distinguish the following features of love:
- It does not appear like a flash of lightning, it is formed and realized by a person for a long time.
- The feeling does not depend on the partner’s behavior. The real one is not diminished, not destroyed by the shortcomings of the partner. True feelings are equal.
- Emotions are aimed at the object. A loving person wishes good to his other half and cares about her happiness first of all.
- Love is felt by a person as a full-fledged feeling. It is a desire to be close in body and soul, not just a physical attraction.
- Sincere strong feelings take a long, painful time. After a divorce, a still-loving person suffers greatly.
- Distance intensifies emotions. Long-distance love strengthens family life, not destroys it.
It is a mistake to believe that in adolescence one can only fall in love mindlessly, and people are capable of truly loving only after 20–25 years. There are many examples in psychology: love in retirement and real feelings between schoolchildren.
7 key differences between infatuation and love
The difference between love and infatuation can be seen by analyzing the relationship from the very beginning. It is impossible to conclude based on one sign. If there are more than two or three key signs, the answer will be more accurate.
Let’s analyze point by point, what are the differences between two feelings: infatuation vs love.
- Male and female infatuation with someone arises in a flash and passes just as quickly. Emotional schoolchildren from grades 9–11 may have 2–3 crushes per day.
- Feelings have no place for third parties. If a man or woman thinks about affairs on the side, at the same time believing that they truly love, this is a mistake. They are only in love with a sexual partner, but I can quickly change him to another.
- The signs of infatuation are sex, and the signs of love are understanding and mutual respect. You never want to empathize or worry about each other at a moment of strong love. Partners spend more time in physical intimacy than in emotional intimacy.
- Infatuation is irrational, love is rational. At the moment of passion, a person does rash actions, explaining them after some time, and makes such an argument — there was a veil in front of his eyes because of love. A lover drowns in feelings and feels strong emotions. And true affection, on the contrary, cultivates intelligence in a person, and forces him to think through actions and words.
- A person in love behaves impulsively, a loving person behaves measuredly. The fire of passion inside is to blame for everything. Falling in love forces you to achieve the object of desire by any means.
- A loving person is capable of sacrifices for the sake of the object of attention, a person in love is not. Love is characterized by selflessness, and care for the partner, and in love is the desire to receive the object of attention completely, even for a short time.
- Love is all-consuming, falling in love does not distract a person from other areas of life, or outsiders.
A man in love easily communicates with other women and may cheat on his wife. Such behavior has nothing to do with real feelings. And people who love looking at the world through the eyes of their beloved, try not to cause unpleasant emotions to their partner.
